You're not going to cause any positive change to happen by refusing to accept than trans women are women- as you did above by calling them "men"- or by insisting that you can only be safe by excluding trans women. Trans women aren't men and they aren't the enemy- and they aren't the enemy. What do you have to lose by trying to work with them, from respectful, inclusive dialog with them. from trying something other than absolute rejection and dismissal o their reality?