One thing I believe to have been damaging is a kind of assumption of inherent white irredeemability, more on the part of white antiracist activists towards other whites wanting to do antiracist work than from Black or Brown people, interestingly- often expressed in the idea that, no matter how much of "the work" white antiracists do, we can never, no matter what, NOT be oppressors- that, at best, we can never reach any better state of being than "passive oppressors". God knows how many people who could have been part of the change we need have been driven away by being given the message- as often as not by other white antiracists- that, no matter what they might have done or said, they could literally never NOT be the enemy. It's not that these people needed or wanted to be coddled, but what did they do to deserve never being given even the provisional benefit of the doubt, to never be accepted as at least making a concerted effort to be on the right side of history?

Another damaging factor was an absurd fixation with phraseology, with the correct wording. To be specific, I'm NOT talking about pronouns- obviously, we should get those right, that's just simple human respect- it's things like calling people out for not expressing their commitment in EXACTLY the right words. There was a famous statement from an Indigenous Australian leader that starts, more or less, with the words "don't tell me you want to help" and ends with-I'm paraphrasing a bit, probably, "tell me you will make my struggle your own".

Now I get where that person is coming from- he had undoubtedly had to deal with more than his share of dilettante, bullshit artists and opportunists, and he and all oppressed peoples have an absolute right to demand deep commitment and to distrust anyone of "settler" stock claiming to offer support.

But when this quote is used by white antiracist activists towards whites who want to get involved in antiracist work, it often, in my experience, drives people away simply by sending them the message "we don't want you in our movement because YOU SAID IT WRONG". How much can we measure commitment through the words used to express it? How do we assume that flakes, dilettantes, and opportunists wouldn't say "I will make your struggle my own" just as often as the deeply committed would, simply because they would pick up on it being the approved phrase? And ultimately, who are white activists to judge the antiracist commitment of other white activists? It seems to me it would be far more effective and welcoming to have the message be "whatever words you use to say why you're here, what will be expected is that you will make the struggle your own".

And the phrase "Intent doesn't matter", which is often used in “call outs” very often does nothing but harm. Why treat something a person says or does in sincere ignorance, or as an honest mistake, in exactly the same way as something that was said or done deliberately? Why not, instead, say "OK, we accept that you didn't mean to say/do that, or honestly didn't understand the implications of what you said/did, but here's why it matters and why you need to learn from that and nor repeat it". I'm not talking about the George W. Bush "I'm sorry if you were offended" types, but people who are making the effort to learn and grow and simply got it wrong but can be taught, and nearly always in the context of white antiracists talking to other white antiracists.

Our work should be about bringing new people in, not finding petty pretexts to drive them away by making them feel nothing they do or say can ever be enough.