I think it would make a difference if the “we need to talk” conversations were introduced as “I’d like to check in with you, so we can both discuss how we’re doing as a couple”.

Agreed that the words “we need to talk” are now probably SO loaded and terrifying to men that they probably just serve to prevent whatever change the conversation is meant to cause.

In cases where the woman in this relationship does have valid reasons for outright anger-the words should probably be something like “ok, there’s an issue here and I need to address it with you now”, with the conversation happening immediately after that…rather than saying “we need to talk after we get home from work tonight”, which is mainly going to have the effect of making the poor bastard spend the entire day in a state of rising terror.