I respect your request for forgiveness- although, for your information, and I say this with no hostility or dismissiveness towards your request- I am also white and the question of forgiving you doesn’t actually fall to me, and I am also in the position of seeking, through whatever of my deeds might make a difference, to heal the wounds the racism of my heritage has inflicted.

It is incredibly admirable for anyone to forgive anyone for anything, and it is valid for people to forgive those who have not sought forgiveness if that is what they wish to do.

Many people do that all the time. Black and brown people have repeatedly forgiven white society for things that society had no business expecting any forgiveness for, and sometimes for things that society still insists it was right to do.

As I see it, no one OWES anyone forgiveness, and where forgiveness has not been sought, no one should ever be made to feel obligated to offer forgiveness. And if a person learns someone they have wronged has forgiven them, they do take on, I think, a clear obligation never to deny they did what they were forgiven for or defend having done it.