I choose to accept the modifier because I oppose exclusion and because I don't feel I can only live my truth by insisting that nobody else be allowed to live theirs. You have been treated horribly by misogynists and that mistreatment needs to be ended- telling trans women that their identity must be treated as "abnormal" and that their assertion of who they are somehow threatens your identity does nothing to address any of that, because all it results in is you lashing out at people who are simply trying to be who they are. In my experience, trans people are simply asking those of us who are cis-people to accept them as they are, as they were born-gender identity is clearly innate, even when it is not in synch with biology, and they have never sought to take anything but you.

You come across as a person who lashes out at people who've done nothing to you for what people who actually have done something to you have done.